Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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