hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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