i'm signing you up for texting rehab
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
