Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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