sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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