Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
