my vag is so smooth its legendary
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
