I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
