Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
