if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
