I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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