R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
