how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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