She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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