I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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