I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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