Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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