i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
