She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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