And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
