I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
