OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
