all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
