So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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