You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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