I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
