Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize