This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
