:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
