Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
