dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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