i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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