sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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