He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
