I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
