Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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