you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
