He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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