is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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