I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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