he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
