Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
