she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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