Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
