Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
