He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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