what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
