I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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