Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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