She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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