My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
