I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
youre lurking in front of me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
