There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
