pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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