you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
