im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
