I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
