Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The struggles of a small town man whore
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
