Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
