We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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