You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
