The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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