she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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