This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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