Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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