I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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