I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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